How Does Knowing They Are IVF-Born Affect Children’s Psychology and How Can Parents Handle It?

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) has brought joy to countless families around the world, enabling many to experience the miracle of childbirth who might otherwise have been unable to do so. However, as these children grow up and learn about their origins, questions and concerns about their psychological well-being often arise. This comprehensive article explores the psychological impact on IVF-born children who are aware of their conception through IVF and provides guidance on how parents and caregivers can handle these issues effectively.

Understanding the Psychological Impact

1. Identity and Self-Esteem

Concept of Origin: For many children, understanding where they come from is a crucial part of their identity. Learning that they were conceived through IVF can sometimes make them feel different from their peers.

Self-Esteem: Concerns may arise about their self-worth and whether they are as “natural” as children conceived without medical assistance. However, studies generally show that most IVF-born children have similar self-esteem levels to their naturally conceived peers.

2. Parental Relationship

Openness and Communication: The quality of the parent-child relationship can significantly influence how a child feels about their IVF origin. Open, honest, and age-appropriate communication can foster a sense of trust and security.

Parental Attitudes: How parents handle the topic can affect their child’s perception. If parents treat IVF as a normal and positive aspect of their family story, children are more likely to accept it in a healthy manner.

3. Peer Relationships

Acceptance and Belonging: Children, especially during adolescence, seek acceptance and belonging. If they perceive IVF as a point of difference, it might lead to feelings of isolation or the desire to keep it a secret.

Bullying and Teasing: There is a potential risk of teasing or bullying if peers learn about their conception method. Educating children on how to respond confidently and fostering a supportive peer environment is crucial.

How to Handle the Issue

1. Early and Open Communication

Start Early: Introduce the concept of IVF early on in a simple and age-appropriate manner. This helps normalize the topic and integrate it into the child’s understanding of their personal story.

Use Positive Language: Emphasize the love, effort, and desire that went into their conception. Explain that IVF was a way to help the family grow, showing the child how wanted and loved they are.

2. Foster a Supportive Environment

Create a Safe Space: Ensure your child feels safe to ask questions and express their feelings about their IVF origin. Be open to these conversations and provide reassurance.

Seek Professional Support: If your child struggles with their identity or self-esteem, consider seeking help from a psychologist or counselor who specializes in family dynamics and child development.

3. Educate and Empower

Provide Information: Educate your child about IVF in a way that empowers them. Use books, videos, and resources designed for children to help them understand the process.

Build Confidence: Teach your child how to explain IVF to others if they choose to share their story. Equip them with simple, clear responses to potential questions from peers.

4. Normalize Differences

Celebrate Diversity: Emphasize that families come in all shapes and sizes, and what matters most is the love and care they share. Highlight stories of other IVF families and different family-building methods.

Avoid Stigmatization: Ensure that the topic of IVF is not treated as a secret or something to be ashamed of. Normalize it as a common and positive aspect of modern family life.


Children born through IVF are just like any other children in terms of their potential for happiness, success, and psychological well-being. The key to helping them understand and embrace their origin lies in open, honest, and supportive communication. By fostering an environment of acceptance and providing the necessary tools and support, parents can ensure their IVF-born children grow up with a strong, positive sense of self. If needed, professional guidance can further support the family in navigating this unique aspect of their lives.